IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
Technology
 has become the blessing for mankind because it gives so many good gadgets which makes life easier.In present days, use of
technology
 is burgeoning day by day in
desktop
Suggestion
a desktop
.In
few cases
Suggestion
a few cases
,
technology
 is unaware for
masses
Suggestion
the masses
.
However
,
Accept space
,
I think that
technology
 has more merits rather than demerits because these days people have fascinated toward the
technology
, it saves time
,
Accept space
,
it is helpful in
educational sector
Suggestion
the educational sector
 as well as it connect people.But there are some demerits
such
 as
,
Accept space
,
people
has become
Suggestion
have become
 lethargic
,
Accept space
,
it
it is
it's
 harmful for the eyes
,
Accept space
,
fear of heart diseases and fear of hacking.
To begin
 with
,
Accept space
,
technology
 is
boon
Suggestion
a boon
 for mankind because it is beneficial in different aspects like
,
Accept space
,
most of the people are gadget freak and they love to use technological devices because it saves the precious time.Number of individuals are using
there
of them or themselves
their
 computer in
there
of them or themselves
their
 business because it is
helpful thing
Suggestion
a helpful thing
 for them because they have very busy schedule in their life and they have not enough time to buy clothes and food in the market.So, they buy online by
technology
.
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
some teenagers use
technology
 in their study because it
help
Suggestion
helps
 to find some difficult solution which students
can not
can not
cannot
 find properly.So
,
Accept space
,
technology
 is
better
Suggestion
the best
 way to solve
there
of them or themselves
their
 problems.
On the other
h
Accept space
,
and,
technology
 has some disadvantages
suc
h
Accept space
,
as,by using
technology
 people do not focus in their work or study and most of the ma
s
Accept space
,
ses,fear of hacking
Submitted by rajeev kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: