IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Plastic bags, bottles, and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to slove this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#plastic #bags #bottles #environment #damage #governments #individuals #slove
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In ancient times the use of organic materials was abundant, People used clay, wood and some types of metals to make
products
. As modernization grew technology helped mankind achieve impossible tasks.
This
 technology was used to synthesize a product called "
Plastic
" which is now used in almost every aspect of our lives from our office to our kitchen, almost 80% of utensils are made up of
plastic
.
Due to
 the vast majority of people using
plastic
 in the form of
plastic
 bottles , bags and packaging. It has become a major problem for our environment.
For instance
, it is a synthetic material which takes 100 years to decompose so it becomes a part of our Ecosystem damaging our marine life. It is responsible for 30% of marine death which is a very concerning number.
Moreover
, it is a common belief that the best way to get rid of
plastic
 is by burning it but unfortunately, it is the worst thing we can possibly do to our atmosphere.
For example
, when
plastic
 burns it releases a load of carbon monoxide and methane gas. These two are known deadly gases which are the biggest contributors to air pollution. These harmful gases cause lung diseases like Cancer, Chronic illness and Alveoli dysfunction. Numerous policies can be made to control
this
 problem.
Firstly
, governments should forge laws regarding
this
 issue and announce penalties if one is broken.
For instance
, there should be a law against trashing
plastic
products
 in the same bins as organic
products
.
this
 would help separate it from other materials. Recycling bins should be placed to collect
plastic
 from communities which will prevent it from being thrown out into the environment. Another measure which can be taken is to limit
plastic
 production to
such
 an extent that its production only meets its demand.
Furthermore
, awareness programs should be held to educate individuals and encourage them to use organic
products
 which are safe for the environment. World Health Organization has laid out hundreds of articles concerning the dangers
plastic
 causes to our surroundings. Technology has played an important role in mankind's success but excess of everything can be dangerous so we have to balance everything.
Submitted by irsamahmood on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the topic, but there is room for minor improvements. The introduction sets the context well, but it could more clearly state the specific issues you will discuss regarding plastic's environmental impact and solutions. This would enhance clarity and ensure that readers know exactly what to expect.
coherence cohesion
The organization of the essay is generally effective, with clear paragraphs that each address a specific point. However, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the essay. For instance, using phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'Building on that point,' can help guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
task achievement
Your essay does a great job of integrating relevant examples to support your points, such as the impact of plastic on marine life and the consequences of burning plastic.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of balancing technology with environmental considerations, providing a thoughtful closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a main point, and a conclusion. This helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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