IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #place #years #governments #amounts #money #forces
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The peace of the earth has always been a challenging dilemma in any era which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 struggle for it. In recent days, many
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that the
world
Use synonyms
 is safer than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
 century and
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 government should invest more economically in the armed
force
Fix the agreement mistake
forces
show examples
.
this
Linking Words
 essay will disagree in part with the viewpoint and will offer
reason
Add an article
a reason
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 position It is undeniable that the
world
Use synonyms
 today is a much more peaceful place than ever before. The
last
Linking Words
World
Use synonyms
 War dates back nearly seventy years and, since 1945, no conflict has taken place in
western
Capitalize word
Western
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countries
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
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 have suggested that spending money on necessities within society
instead
Linking Words
 of
armed
Correct article usage
the armed
show examples
forces
Use synonyms
 is more useful.
However
Linking Words
, It is a comment
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that the advancement of science and technology pose certain dangers to humans.
computers
Capitalize word
Computers
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 that make robot more and more intelligent scatter
people
Use synonyms
 the fear that one day they will conquer the earth.statistic
have
Change the verb form
has
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 shown that the emergence of robots has become immensely popular and is an indispensable part in many filed especially science and industry. For these reasons, if one day the robots go out of control, the state of art
armarnent
Correct your spelling
armament
permanent
 could be the
onnnnly
Correct your spelling
only
lifebouy
Correct your spelling
lifebuoy
 for our civilization.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to some extent, potential threats from humans are likely to be the first priority.
this
Linking Words
 is very difficult, as even though no significant conflict has taken place in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
, they are still involved in the conflicts of other
countries
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the US contribution
in
Change preposition
to
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 the Iraqi war has only recently ended. For
such
Linking Words
 involvement of military
forces
Use synonyms
 in foreign lands,
countries
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 still need to have strong armed
forces
Use synonyms
, in case they are needed.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be a huge amount of money to
stablize
Correct your spelling
stabilise
the the
Correct article usage
apply
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social security with
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lots
a lot
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of police officers and weapons
as well as
Linking Words
 specialized equipment to protect the internal
countries
Use synonyms
 In the final analysis, certain armed
forces
Use synonyms
 are necessary for major
countries
Use synonyms
 even though the
world
Use synonyms
 is safer than a hundred years ago. They might need to intervene in conflicts in other
countries
Use synonyms
 and
world
Use synonyms
 peace is by no means assured for the future.
Besides
Linking Words
,other fields
also
Linking Words
 need to invest
resonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 to balance the economic
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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