IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some say that self-employment is better than working in a company or in an institution. Discuss both views. What's your opinion on this?

#say #self-employment #company #institution
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as
business
 fields have become complicated,
people
 try to find the fittest working style for their
business
. and there are some
people
 who say that
self-employment
 is better than working in a company. first of all,
self-employment
 will
return
Verb problem
result
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 higher income. because most of
Add an article
the
show examples
profit from selling products will be owners and there is no limit.
secondly
,
people
 who run their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 learn a lot from their work. because they would deal with lots of
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 that employees could never experience.
however
,
self-employment
 is risky
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 view. Because it is necessary to invest money to start and maintain the
business
 and no one would guarantee their decision. the
ower
Correct your spelling
owner
show examples
 should take all responsibility.
Capitalize word
On
show examples
on the other hand
,
people
 who are working in a company will get specialized
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in their field. because employees are assigned
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
particular
Add an article
a particular
show examples
 part and concentrate on their own part. and they can live with
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
salary
.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 long as they do their job, their
salary
 is guaranteed.
however
, their
salary
 is lower and limited. in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
self-employment
 is
betther
Correct your spelling
better
. because even though working in
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 will give
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
salary
 and
self-employment
 Would require high risk, it will return with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 income and
people
 can get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Submitted by Luna Jung on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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