some people believe that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happier? What other things in life can make people happy?

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A significant faction of the society considers that only massive amounts of material prosperity can contribute to well-being in an individual's life. Indeed, there are reasons how owning riches and treasures can take away all the pains and struggles of life.

However

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, there are various other significant factors, like sharing and giving back to the community, that can make one truly happy. Clearly, the compelling reason leading to peace of mind, is the abundance and prosperity, that hoards of money bring along.

In addition

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, having rich coffers help in leading a struggle-free lifestyle. Since there is no shortage of capital, an individual can not only follow their dreams and passions but

also

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take good care of any whims and fancies of their loved ones.

For example

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, one of the wealthiest persons on the planet, Sir Richard Branson, is a befitting personality to explain

this

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further

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As a result

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of his hard-earned treasure, he has passionately expanded his businesses in different verticals, right from music to airlines, and now even into space travel. With the help of these riches, he bought a private island for his family and regularly hosted his friends over there for happy and gala celebrations.

On the other hand

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, many critics will agree that true and deep contentment does not necessarily come from owning money it is by sharing our joy with the less-privileged section of the society that makes us truly happy. To illustrate

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, let us look at contemporary philanthropists like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, etc. These gentlemen not only amassed massive success of their hard work, but

also

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gave away almost 50% of it to the less privileged people.

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, they cited that

this

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contribution gave them a deep sense of purpose which money could have never bought.

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, a person does not have to give back to humanity only in the form of monetary donations.

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, many people choose to volunteer in their free time, helping elderlies, and differently-abled people, thereby contributing to the overall wellness of the community and gaining satisfaction for themselves. To conclude, while happiness is indeed an aftereffect of owning wealth, additional factors like philanthropy and volunteering can bring not only joy but

also

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the feeling of contentment.

Therefore

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, whether rich or poor, people should choose their unique way to contribute to humanity and make the world a happier place.'

Submitted by RS on Sat Jul 11 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

393 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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some people believe that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happier? What other things in life can make people happy?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

in many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for family and leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give the reason for your answer and include any relevant examples of your knowledge and experience.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, people these days spend very little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whom does this affect more, parents or children?