some people believe that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happier? What other things in life can make people happy?

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A significant faction of the society considers that only massive amounts of material prosperity can contribute to well-being in an individual's life. Indeed, there are reasons how owning riches and treasures can take away all the pains and struggles of life.

However

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, there are various other significant factors, like sharing and giving back to the community, that can make one truly happy. Clearly, the compelling reason leading to peace of mind, is the abundance and prosperity, that hoards of money bring along.

In addition

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, having rich coffers help in leading a struggle-free lifestyle. Since there is no shortage of capital, an individual can not only follow their dreams and passions but

also

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take good care of any whims and fancies of their loved ones.

For example

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, one of the wealthiest persons on the planet, Sir Richard Branson, is a befitting personality to explain

this

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further

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As a result

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of his hard-earned treasure, he has passionately expanded his businesses in different verticals, right from music to airlines, and now even into space travel. With the help of these riches, he bought a private island for his family and regularly hosted his friends over there for happy and gala celebrations.

On the other hand

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, many critics will agree that true and deep contentment does not necessarily come from owning money it is by sharing our joy with the less-privileged section of the society that makes us truly happy. To illustrate

further

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, let us look at contemporary philanthropists like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, etc. These gentlemen not only amassed massive success of their hard work, but

also

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gave away almost 50% of it to the less privileged people.

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, they cited that

this

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contribution gave them a deep sense of purpose which money could have never bought.

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, a person does not have to give back to humanity only in the form of monetary donations.

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, many people choose to volunteer in their free time, helping elderlies, and differently-abled people, thereby contributing to the overall wellness of the community and gaining satisfaction for themselves. To conclude, while happiness is indeed an aftereffect of owning wealth, additional factors like philanthropy and volunteering can bring not only joy but

also

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the feeling of contentment.

Therefore

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, whether rich or poor, people should choose their unique way to contribute to humanity and make the world a happier place.'

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

393 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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some people believe that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happier? What other things in life can make people happy?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some think they can use as much fresh water as they want, but others say governments should limit water use because it is not endless. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

he rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

7. In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society?