It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #course #children

nowadays

Suggestion

Nowadays

, people consider.

that

Suggestion

That

acceptance adverse case is

Suggestion

optimal choice. While some believe that making an effort and dealing with the positive bad situations which is the best route to change your

life

. I partly subscribe to the latter.

To begin

with, there are

sevral

(used with count nouns) of an indefinite number more than 2 or 3 but not many

several

reasons why change is risky and sometimes it is against your massive effort.

For example

refers to the speaker or writer

n the epidemic of

coronavirus

Suggestion

enormous number of

peole

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

people

have put out of work so they

can not

cannot

make ends meet for their

life

and family. It is evidence that your unsatisfactory is vital in the period of time.

Moreover

, if someone seeks different job, there is no

assure

Suggestion

assuring

that the new

the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money

job

can make you more satisfactory. It is obvious that sometimes acceptance is the favourable choice. On the one hand,

refers to the speaker or writer

sppose

express a supposition

suppose

those who make a determined attempt to move up in

life

therefor

Suggestion

there for

the most compelling

rational

(law) an explanation of the fundamental reasons (especially an explanation of the working of some device in terms of laws of nature)

rationale

is having advantageous

liife

a characteristic state or mode of living

life

. There is no doubt that those who strongly believe that

onedat

Suggestion

one that

one dat

one day

they can obtain the objectives to make their lives better. To illustrate my point, if Edison believed that he could not do anything by his teacher said, we would not have the greatest inventions

such

as the light bulb or the phonograph up to now. Thanks to never give up and striving to better situations, we can see a tremendous amount of people achiving extraodinary success like Beethoven the German well-known composer and the pianist owned the top songs in the history of the music in the world or Le Cong a

first

Vietnamese person who has the disability tried hard to get the gold medal in Paralympic. In conclusion,

instead

of avoiding risks, striving to change your

life

is paved the way for

ner

of a female

her

live

Suggestion

life

. Not only it can make you have new

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

also

does it help you to discover your potential.

Although

somtimes

on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always

sometimes

, changing is quite dangerous and acceptance is a beneficial decision.

Submitted by Linh Nguyễn Thị Diệu on Sat Jul 11 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

parenting training
child-rearing
valuable guidance
effective techniques
child development
psychology

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Fully explain your ideas

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