IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #usage #computers #phones #effect #skills
Digital delivery methods
such
 as emails,
text-messaging
Correct your spelling
text messaging
show examples
 and virtual social networks have been helping billions of people write and read messages on a daily basis. At first glance,
this
 appears to support reading and writing skills.
However
, I believe that these means of connection have a negative impact on one’s
overall
 ability to read and write. The most important reason for my opinion is the proclivity to use an informal word, in conversation via
mobiles
 and
computers
.
Whereas
 serious reading and writing involve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure to formal vocabulary, most of the messages exchanged using
mobiles
 and
computers
 are rather short and contain spoken expressions.
This
 is because on a digital platform, time saving and convenience, rather than the sophistication of expression, are the utmost priority of people. In brief, the more frequently people use a form of mobile and computer-based link, the more likely informal expressions would dominate their use of accent. Another reason for the exacerbation of reading and writing abilities is the over-dependence on technological assistance.
This
 is the case because users of
mobiles
 and
computers
 are usually aided by spell-check and automatic proofreading services when writing a message. Some computer
programmes
Correct your spelling
programs
show examples
 can
also
 find the best word choice to avoid vocabulary mistakes. As these processes are continually repeated, users’ sense of spelling
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
grammar and lexical range may gradually erode. Eventually,
this
 erosion leads to the degradation of both the writing and reading skills. In conclusion,
due to
 the tendency towards using spoken terminology and the over-reliance on proofreading software when communicating via
computers
 and
mobiles
, I am convinced that digital contact has an adverse impact on one’s
overall
 reading and writing level.
Submitted by Thảo Anh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The response shows some ability to address the task, but the position is not consistently clear throughout the response. More detailed examples and evidence would improve the clarity of the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates some ability to organize ideas and information, but there is an occasional lack of logical sequencing of information and ideas within paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more substantial in providing an overview and a conclusion of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: