As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

Nowadays, because of the
development
of technology and countries, production of cars
have grown
Suggestion
has grown
dramatically and people buy and use their personal vehicles which caused some critical issues regarding the
enviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
. Traffic jams caused by
large
Suggestion
the large amount
a large amount
amount
of cars in the cities have led to massive air
pollution which
Accept comma addition
pollution, which
thread the future of the planet earth.
This
essay will argue that advantages of mass production of cars which led to
easier
Suggestion
an easier life style
easier lifestyle
the easier life style
life
style doesn't
outweight
be heavier than
outweigh
the
disavantages
the quality of having an inferior or less favorable position
disadvantages
for the
enviorment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
. Industrial
development
had
major effect
Suggestion
a major effect
on human
life
. Internet connection, medical progress and enhancement of transportation are some of examples of new
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
which is caused by modern technology.
Today almost
Accept comma addition
Today, almost
every household has at least one car which makes
travels
Suggestion
travel
much easier. Meanwhile,
industrialiation
the development of industry on an extensive scale
industrialization
industrialisation
has many negative outcomes as well.
Firstly
,
indusrial
of or relating to or resulting from industry
industrial
development
Accept comma addition
development, such
such
as mass production of cars has caused
golbal
involving the entire earth; not limited or provincial in scope
global
warming which has a huge impact on human
life
and other creatures. The future of our planet is at risk because of
grownig
Suggestion
the growing amount
growing amount
amount
of air and water pollution. Many
animal
Suggestion
animals
are in danger of becoming
instict
and a large
amount
of jungles have been
wipped
rub with a circular motion
wiped
ripped
out to build houses and factories.
Secondly
,
this
large
amount
of
car
the work of providing treatment for or attending to someone or something
care
have led
Suggestion
has led
to traffic
jams spacially
Accept comma addition
jams, especially
jams especially
in rush hours where everyone is in
hurry
Suggestion
a hurry
to get to work. It has caused a lot of accidents and had huge effects
of
Suggestion
on
human health, both physically and mentally. In conclusion,
development
Suggestion
the development
of
indusrties
the people or companies engaged in a particular kind of commercial enterprise
industries
helped human kind in some
levels but
Accept comma addition
levels, but
it can be problematic and it can cause issues regarding the
enviorment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
. I believe
this
new trend which everyone has a private car can have major and
unretivable
effects on out planet and should be re-consider.
Submitted by zahra rahimi on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal mobility
  • convenience
  • commuting
  • quality of life
  • personalized space
  • carbon emissions
  • global warming
  • air pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
  • resource depletion
  • electric vehicles
  • carpooling
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