IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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It is argued that the significant environmental challenge is the extinction of special sorts of
animals
Use synonyms
 and herbs nowadays.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that there are more essential issues to be addressed in
this
Linking Words
 field. In my opinion, all the problems related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global well-being should be assessed
simultaneousely
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
. When it comes to wildlife, rare plants and
animals
Use synonyms
 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always attracted a great deal of attention. In
this
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 regard, It is worth mentioning that many of them are in danger of
perish
Replace the word
perishing
show examples
.
For example
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, there are only 3 Iranian tigers
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 in the national park.
Moreover
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, some specific trees and bushes provide shelter and nutrition
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 for many
animals
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, bamboos are vital to survive pandas in China.
In addition
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 to that, many creatures are important in terms of aesthetic aspects of the earth. Regarding
this
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 issue,
Brizilian
Correct your spelling
Brazilian
 unique jungles with
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 special birds
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 outstanding sceneries in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Southern America.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, numerous people believe that other issues destroying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global life should be addressed.
For example
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, air pollution caused by the increase of greenhouse gases not only results in respiratory problems
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in the metropolises like Tehran, Iran, but
also
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 destroys the
ozon
Correct your spelling
ozone
 layer.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, global warming is another important
challemge
Correct your spelling
challenge
challenges
 that
involve
Correct subject-verb agreement
involves
show examples
 all the
erath's
Correct your spelling
earth's
 residents.
For instance
Linking Words
, some countries
such
Linking Words
 as the Netherlands are likely to be sunk by the rise of sea levels. To my mind, all these issues like wildlife and pollution should be tackled by officials at the same time because they are significant for human survival. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some individuals are of the opinion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific kinds of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants should be protected, others suppose that
issuses
Correct your spelling
issues
such
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 as universal pollution are more vital. Generally, I reckon that human beings can proceed to live with a program to survive all kinds of alive species and tackle
vexingly
Change the word
vexing
show examples
 environmental problems.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion as part of the discussion. This helps set the stage for your argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help improve the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to include more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues at hand.
task achievement
You've addressed both views clearly and acknowledged the complexity of environmental issues.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like Iranian tigers and the Netherlands effectively supports your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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