child obesity is a growing problem in our society. some people think it is the governments fault, while others believe it is the parents fault

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Introduction

Child

obesity

Use synonyms

is a growing

problem

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in modern society. Some people believe that it is the government's responsibility, while others think it is the fault of the parents, but with the increasing child

obesity

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we need to find a solution. In my opinion, I believe that both sides share a part of the

problem

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Body paragraph 1

The new technology offers the luxury of doing things with.

For example

Linking Words

, nowadays if parents tell their children to go buy groceries from the

store they

Accept comma addition

store, they

just use their mobile phones to order a delivery for the groceries without making any effort, which, of course, helps them gain weight. The parents leave their children stay indoors for most of the time, contributing to the

problem

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obesity

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Body paragraph 2

For the government's share of the

problem

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, I believe that they must do more outdoor activities, events, and more social interactions.

they

Suggestion

They

can,

for instance

Linking Words

, build some new parks for kids to play in, host sports events that allow children to participate in, include more physical education periods in schools, etc. Providing medical support can

also

Linking Words

contribute to the cause: making free or cheap consultations for children to tell them about the things they can do to improve their health.

Body paragraph 3

But is that enough? Is just

doing

the act that results in something coming to be

making

every party its part of the job enough? Should the two parties not contribute more to the cause? I, in my opinion, answer these questions with a no. No, it is not enough doing every party its part. Parents should encourage their children to go play outside and use the

government's

Suggestion

government

facilities, and governments should take care of, improve, and build new facilities to help demolish the

obesity

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problem

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Conclusion

In conclusion, anyone who can help overcome

this

Linking Words

children's health

problem

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must contribute, so society can improve for

the best

Suggestion

the better

ahmed yasser

Jul 12, 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

297 words

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child obesity is a growing problem in our society. some people think it is the governments fault, while others believe it is the parents fault

Many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. Many others prefer to work for a small company first. What are the different advantages in each decision?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvanatges to this?

In recent years, there have been a number of everyday problems that people in big cities have to cope with.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?