Each year the crime rate increases What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowadays, there is a significantly increasing amount of crime around the world annually. There are two main
factors including
Accept comma addition
factors, including
the effect of the
violent entertaining
Accept comma addition
violent, entertaining
product and failure in the national security system generate
this
tendency. In
this
essay, I would like to present the analysis about the possible reasons explained for the intensifying level of criminality and several optimal solutions to keep
this
under control.
To begin
with, people addicted in games and action movie may get
higher percentage
Suggestion
a higher percentage
to be a malefactor than average people. What I mean by
this
is that, the bullying element of that type of relaxation can make an adverse impact on mental health and the way users control their action. In fact, It’s evident that there is a range number of children stealing their relative’s money and playing hooky to go to the internet store which can make them to be a dangerous criminal in the future. Tackling
this
problem involves the education of school and family.
For example
, the department of education should encourage the school to arrange more extracurricular about the evil influence of them and how to stave it off.
In addition
, the official states don’t pay enough attention to the safety issue of their dwellers, which is a motivation for the gangs to bolster and act bully publicly.
For instance
, in Mexico, the
authority even
Accept comma addition
authority, even
covered up for drug traffickers due to be bribed that result in the storm of protest there. There are many formulas that the government can perform to deal with
this
issue
such
as reinforce the legislation and stimulate the allocator of the public security of the officer. In conclusion, political irresponsibility and the violence of some types of entertainment are considered to be a precursor for the thriving criminal activities.
This
remains a serious problem in distant future unless the government shape a strategic vision to hamper the negative consequence of the above complication.
Submitted by Tha Ngoẽn on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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