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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US and the effect of children on the overall rating of married couples.

the charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US and the effect of children on the overall rating of married couples.
#show #results #survey #happiness #ratings #people #effect #children #couples
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The charts below illustrate the comparable percentage of obtaining pleasure between two
groups
Use synonyms
 of single and unmarried people and the range of happiness
into
Change preposition
for
show examples
couples
Use synonyms
 who has
children
Use synonyms
 in the US.
According to
Linking Words
 the first
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
couples
Use synonyms
 with four distinct types of
years
Use synonyms
 are happier than four kinds
Use synonyms
years
Change preposition
of years
show examples
 old singles. The amount of enjoyment
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated between 40 and 45. The 18 - 29, almost 30-49 and 65 and over
years
Use synonyms
 old
groups
Use synonyms
 experience the most significant percentage of
satisfying
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 which are approximately 45 and 44 respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the first three
groups
Use synonyms
 of singles in comparison with the married have the lowest percentage which is between 21 and 22.
Although
Linking Words
 the
satisfying
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life for unmarried, who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 65 and over has significant changes that are around 34
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Married
couples
Use synonyms
 who have
children
Use synonyms
 younger than 18
years
Use synonyms
 old are happier than the other 2
groups
Use synonyms
 that have only and over 18
children
Use synonyms
 and no
children
Use synonyms
. The first stage comes back to the people
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youth under 18
years
Use synonyms
,
second
Linking Words
 to
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 have a youngster and the
third
Linking Words
 belongs to
couples
Use synonyms
 with 18
years
Use synonyms
 and only a youngster. Totally having a child
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 the happiness of life for
couples
Use synonyms
 in comparison with
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 charts.
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart's concept
married
Change preposition
of married
show examples
 people, whether they bring
children
Use synonyms
 or are not happier than unmarried
groups
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sam on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, couples, children, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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