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Band 6.5

It i important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
We are standing before the new dawn of a developing world.
Therefore
, most people think that it is vital for residents to take risks both in their work life and their personal lives.
This
 essay will present some of my personal ideas about how there are more benefits to getting out of our comfort zone. On the one hand, admittedly, stepping outside our comfort zone means inhabitants will have more chances for personal growth. First of all, when they solve some issues in their workplace or in their daily life, they have to find new methods and ideas for the problems.
Therefore
, it will form for people critical thinking skills and problem-solving skills when they face challenges.
Besides
, once they successfully learn risk management, they will have more motivation and confidence.
In addition
, in business, accepting challenges can create opportunities that others can not catch, thereby creating competitive advantages and developments.
On the other hand
, some issues need to be paid attention to.
First,
if you are unable to estimate your abilities or risks, it can lead to
seriously
Change the word
serious
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 financial decline.
Therefore
, it easily leads to stress and anxiety
due to
 financial pressure for residents.
Moreover
, if you are risky that permanently affects others.
Consequently
, it can cause district and lead to
damaged
Verb problem
apply
show examples
relationships because of conflict. In conclusion,
although
 there are some drawbacks, in my view, the benefits still outweigh them. The crucial thing is that people should understand their limitations clearly to minimise the drawbacks when accepting challenges.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
To strengthen your argument and achieve a higher band, try to balance examples and explanations more effectively. Including more specific and relevant examples will make your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between points. Adding linking words and phrases can make your writing more fluid and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure that presents a balanced view of the issue, considering both advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, addressing both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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