The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care System in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the Best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Nowadays, due to

this

modern era and increase in technology people

life

become so easy. With that, a growing number of obese children and adults more compared to previous decades. They put pressure on the health and care department to solve

this issues

Suggestion

this issue

these issues

. Some individuals think that the great way to solve

this

problem by introducing a more physical

education

lessons in the school curriculum.

Although

, I personally believe that the government should take a step to improve the knowledge of human being and teach them the overall benefit from playing some sports in their hepatic

life

To begin

with, from only physical

education

doesn't fall down

this problems

Suggestion

this problem

these problems

. I recommend to all the children, students as well as parents to take an initiative to realise how the physical

education

is vital in their

life

. People are being lazy in

this

recent time from the high usage of their mobile phones and TV.

That is

why the problem of obese and body’s fat, increase in their body.

In addition

to solve

this problems

Suggestion

this problem

these problems

, I suggest them to not put the strain on the health and care system. Try to avoid

this

laziness from your

life

and take interest in some physical activity in your daily

life

For example

, play outdoor games, go to the gym, do skipping, walking and many other activities which burn your calories as well as your extra fat.

Furthermore

, government

also

held so many events for their citizen

such

as marathon, culture Fest, and Art craft competition and so on.

This

will

also

helpful to reduce our stress as well as pressure from their daily work and

also

take some time to enjoy and feel relaxed ourselves from our busy lifestyle. In conclusion,

this

situation of

this

overweight problem has taken it as a serious note. Only the theoretical

education

is not pivotal in students’ lives.

Also

, Physical

education

is as important as other subjects. I completely agree with my decision.

Submitted by Ushma Trivedi on Mon Jul 13 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more imprtant to spend money on roads and motorwawys than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?