IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #exercise #health #diet
While
health
 is increasingly popular, it continues to be rather controversial because some people claim that doing more exercise is
the most important
Suggestion
more important
 for
health
 than having a balanced
diet
. There are valid arguments on both sides of
this
 very topical debate, and they will be discussed hereunder. On the one hand, people opposed to having a
diet highlight
Accept comma addition
diet, highlight
 that exercises are more effective.
when
Suggestion
When
 a person trains, the blood in his body circulates faster and it affects positively on the whole body.
In addition
, it should be said that in the older ages taking exercises regularly may help a person to maintain
health
 since as they get older, more vulnerable they become.
Finally
, there is a concern over the stress that a person gains.
For instance
, when people cut back on
food
Suggestion
the food
foods
 that they used to it, they feel
emptiness
Suggestion
the emptiness
an emptiness
 and do not get enough amount of food.
On the other hand
, supporters of the
diet
 say that there are some people who are not able to move due to
health
 problems or usually obesity.
Furthermore
, advocates of the
diet
 often point out that it could be easier in terms of not spending a lot of energy,
moreover
, the
diet
 conserves more time due to the fact that no need to arrange any exercise sessions.
Lastly
 on
this
 side of the debate, enthusiasts emphasize that a good
diet
 assists with digestion and gives nutrition and vitamins. Overall, I tend to agree that it is a wiser idea to do more physical activities because of the potential positive effects on
health
 outweigh their possible disadvantages. Of course,
this
 is provided that a human being will do exercise regularly.
Submitted by Ahmed Abulkhair on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: