Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that former prisoners can change their attitudes and transform into good citizens. And that their transformation made us the best to sensibilize children about the dangers of breaking the law. I agree with that for two reasons :

First,

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ex-offenders are able to become good members of our society and

then

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, I think that they are the best people to talk about these dangers.

To begin

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, prisons have been created to change the attitude of detainees, so it is logical that they can become good citizens. They spend months or years in a small space with usually no distractions, so they have time to question themselves about what they did wrong before and what they could improve in the future. And of course, when they get out of prison, the majority of them become good members of our society.

According to

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a study at Stanford University in California in 2021, 89% of former convicts successfully reintegrate into society, and 18% of them, have high-responsibility jobs.

Next,

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I think that former offenders who succeed in their reintegration are the best people to talk to teenagers about the exposure of breaking the law. Indeed, those know what they did wrong in their lives, so their testimonies can be very interesting for younger generations.

For example

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last

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February, in a French school in Paris, a former detainee came to narrate his history. In accordance with a survey, most students realize for the first time how a crime can destroy life.

Moreover

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, the fact that it was a prisoner who talked about the danger, was a way for them to repair, in some way, the infraction that they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

committed.

To conclude

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, I agree with both ideas, even if all the prisoners are not, good citizens, after prison is the best to sensibilize teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

santos_dij

Jun 1, 2023

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coherence

Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.

task achievement

Make sure to provide a more balanced view of the topic in your conclusion.

coherence

Work on using a wider range of linking words for better flow.

task achievement

Good use of examples from research to support your points.

task achievement

Your writing shows a clear opinion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

What to do next:

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching many students. Nowadays, new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?