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Writing Samples
Band 8

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society
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In the modern world, advertising is widely employed by businesses to promote their brands and products. Some argue that the prevalence of commercials plays a decisive role in shaping purchasing behaviour. Personally, I can only partly agree with
this
 assertion.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable that marketing campaigns significantly influence buyers' decisions for several key reasons.
Firstly
, commercial promotions serve as effective tools for companies to showcase their offerings, thereby increasing awareness among potential customers and leading to possible purchases.
Additionally
, marketers often craft content that caters to the needs and preferences of their target audience, which can strongly capture interest when these promotions are released.
For example
, a massage product called Miaojie informs viewers in its commercials that it can help relieve work fatigue, thereby stimulating the purchasing desire of many office workers who suffer from back pain and sore muscles.
Furthermore
, many campaigns are endorsed by celebrities,
such
 as sports stars, encouraging the general public to buy their products
due to
 the trust placed in well-known figures.
In particular
, followers of these celebrities may choose to purchase endorsed products as a way of showing support.
On the other hand
, I maintain that commercials cannot truly dictate what people ultimately buy. One of the primary reasons is that most consumers are rational, making purchasing decisions based on practical needs and financial situations. Those with family responsibilities,
in particular
, tend to buy goods cautiously.
Moreover
, advertising is not a new marketing strategy; many people today are already aware of the tactics behind various campaigns, which reduces the likelihood of impulse buying.
Additionally
, easier Internet access enables individuals to gather relevant information online, helping them make informed decisions and leading to rational consumption. In conclusion,
while
 it is true that advertising has certain effects on buying behaviour, I contend that whether a purchase is made is ultimately determined by personal judgment.
Submitted by 645119931 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each argument is equally developed - the point about rational consumers could be elaborated further to match the strength of the first argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has good transitions, ensuring seamless flow between paragraphs can further enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Strong and clear introduction and conclusion, providing a concise summary of the main arguments.
task achievement
Effective use of relevant and specific examples, such as the endorsement of products by celebrities, to support main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived need
  • lifestyle aspirations
  • brand image
  • prestige
  • psychological techniques
  • scarcity
  • social proof
  • celebrity endorsements
  • technological advancements
  • product innovations
  • emerging consumer needs
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