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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#sports #players #products #outweigh
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In the contemporary world, concurrent with the expansion of advertisements, several well-known athletes advertise
sportive
Use synonyms
 commodities. While
this
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 trend is beneficial in some extent, in my opinion its disadvantages outweigh. One benefit of champion endorsements is that has acted as a positive catalyst for trade boom, resulting in emerge of new jobs. Since celebrity branding cause corporations producing goods to gain a competitive edge, it may trigger extension of jobs and hiring unemployed people.
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Also it
Accept comma addition
Also, it
 might promote sport activities. If a successful sport player
advertise
Suggestion
advertises
 a product, it will stimulate target audiences to feel a tendency toward that sport.
For instance
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, the
olympic
of or relating to the Olympic Games
Olympic
 gold winner Michael Phelps' endorsements have always been a vigorous motivation for people to try swimming.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages for advertisements announced by the athletes. It can cause children to force their parents to purchase unnecessary products. Since
this
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 sort of advertisement is usually impressive for a child as a fan, it can lead children to impose pressure on their parents to buy the product. It might
poses
Suggestion
pose
 financial
difficulties especially
Accept comma addition
difficulties, especially
 when it comes to
sportive
Use synonyms
 equipments which are generally costly.
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Moreover it
Accept comma addition
Moreover, it
 may move away the athletes from their professional
sportive
Use synonyms
 purposes. Since advertising agencies
have been paying
Suggestion
were paid
 a large amount of money to celebrities to endorse their products, they may tempt athletes to devote a considerable amount of time and energy to advertising activities, while focusing tremendously on intense
sportive
Use synonyms
 schedule is crucial for a professional champion. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 cities need trees as an agent of reducing air pollution and spirit enhancer of their
habitants
the type of environment in which an organism or group normally lives or occurs
habitats
, building new housing facilities can be beneficial as it can scatter population and cause people to have accommodation.
Submitted by Azin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsement
  • influence
  • credibility
  • reputation
  • globalize
  • brand image
  • penetrate markets
  • role model
  • participation
  • high costs
  • premium pricing
  • overshadow
  • product features
  • consumer trust
  • reputation risk
  • scandal
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