Some people think that the main factor influencing a child’s development these days are things such as tv, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some experts revealed that, a
child
's
development
is affected by the technology, music and surrounded friends. Others considered that, a family bond is rather more important than any other things.
Therefore
, it is necessary to be reviewed both views indepth as follows. It is true that, there are a variety of factors are influencing for a
child
's
development
.
First
and for most, Undoubtly, the technology has been highly influenced many children's lives today. Majority scientists proved that, Kids take less time to learn technological gadgets
such
as smart phone, video games, computer games.. Etc. Without relying any person's support they have ability to learn these equipments easily without any practice.
Secondly
, friends can be impacted on a
child
's
development
and
this
effect can be positive or negative on an individual behaviour. Proven studies mentioned that, when a kid is socialising with other people may provide significant effect on their brain
development
. Primarily, children have the opportunity to improve their communication skills and will able to become
puntual
Suggestion
parents
parental
, competitive and disciplined
child
.
Thirdly
, there
also
a concern of music can be supported to develop a
child
's brain. As idea of many researches proven that, music will links towards
child
's brain improvement and will help to relax the mind and soul. As per majority's concern, Family plays a key factor in a
child
's
development
.
This
is where a
child
grew up and the parents have a huge responsibility to take care of their children. Good manners, discipline and other basic things will start to learn from their family before a
child
is starting their school. To conclude, there is no doubt that, the family is playing a key role in a
child
's
development
and
then
other factors come after that.
Submitted by navi rox1983 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: