Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #effects

Commercial advertisement these days are believed by some to have negative influences on children,

hence

, be permanently removed.

This

essay will discuss why I fully support

this

view to ban these negative advertisements. The commercials we see on TV these days are very inappropriate

Accept space

There are many stars who advertise products aimed at children who set a bad example by over-sexualising their products.The advertisements show excess nudity and brainwashes the kid by making them believe that

this

is the normal.

For example

, Calvin Klein heavily promotes their fashion brand with advertisements of girls barely wearing clothes.

This

leads to more young girls walking in the streets with clothes just enough to cover the important parts and put themselves in danger of sexual assault by sexual predators.

This

exposes them to potential dangers to their life. Some girls who watch barely clothed models who try selling their material will feel insecure about their bodies.Kids will always compare and try to become their role models even if they are half naked.They don't realise the use of plastic surgery or photoshop to make these stars look the way they are.When a girl has failed to look like their hero, they are prone to mental health problems like anxiety and depression due to their low confidence.

This

is evidenced with a large population of young girls who are diagnosed with clinical depression who say their lack of confidence is a key contributor to their issues when their symptoms started.

Thus

, advertisements can have dangerous impacts on children In conclusion, I firmly believe that inappropriate advertisements should be completely erased as it over-sexualises our adolescent girls and make them prone to serious psychiatric illnesses and other threats.

Submitted by Amit John on Wed Jul 15 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?

we cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Manufacturing process of making sugar from sugar scane