‏In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

#‏in #places #teenagers #jobs #school #teens

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Part-time

jobs

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have become an indispensable part of modern life. There is a frequently discussed issue of whether Part-time

work

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has a beneficial impact on teenagers, or whether it poses risks. I firmly believe that the advantages of part-time

jobs

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outweigh their disadvantages.

This

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essay will delve into

this

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phenomenon, supported by relevant examples and insights. ‎‏On the one hand, there are some drawbacks to teenagers who

work

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in part-time

jobs

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. One major issue is decreasing in their academic performance, as youth don't have time to study after their school time.

For instance

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, a study conducted at Glasgow University illustrated that most

students

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who

work

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after going to school suffer from a lack of knowledge and vocabulary.

Consequently

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this

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might have long-lasting effects on their study. ‎‏

On the other hand

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, there are undeniable benefits to part-time

work

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. One notable advantage is that when children are exposed to

work

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this

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definitely plays a crucial role in their personal economic.

For example

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, a report by UNESCO, 90% of workers part-time are earning a good income.

As a result

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this

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stimulates a sense of

overall

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well-being and comfort in the nation. Another merit to be considered is that pupils often gain some skills that contribute to improving their self-esteem. A good example here, individuals who

work

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as receptionists can learn a lot of experiences, especially in communicating with people and how to solve problems.

Thus

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students

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are able to increase their confidence and

work

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more efficiently in society. ‎‏In conclusion,

although

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part-time

jobs

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present challenges, I strongly think that the merits overpower the detrimental ones. It not only fosters

students

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' economic growth but

also

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gives

students

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a chance to know many important exercises in their lives.

Therefore

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, to maximize these benefits, governments should actively encourage individuals to have part-time

jobs

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Submitted by 13570581 on Fri Dec 27 2024

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task achievement

While the essay presents a clear stance on the topic, certain ideas could be developed further for enhanced clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

In the body paragraphs, enhancing linkage between ideas and providing more detailed examples will improve comprehensibility.

introduction conclusion present

The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining the main points and summarizing the stance.

logical structure

The structure of the essay is easy to follow, with logical progressions between points and paragraphs.

supported main points

The essay successfully acknowledges both advantages and disadvantages, supporting the main argument with relevant examples.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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‏In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teens working outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?