IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #children #freedom
There has been a debate over whether children should live in an unlimited environment to be given
as many as options
Suggestion
as many options
 or they should be regulated. I firmly believe that children should be grown in well- balanced background.
This
 essay will discuss these views and provided with my personal insight.
To begin
 with, it is often believed that children need to be grown open and uncontrolled for their creativity. If adults always help with children’s tasks too easily without letting them do it by themselves, children will be likely to depend on them in any situation and will not even try. These days, developing children’s creativity is considered as a vital factor to lead them to success. In order to do that, it is necessary to provide children with open and free learning environment.
On the other hand
, allowing children to do everything can present some drawbacks. If children are exposed to overwhelming options, it would rather disturb their learning. They need to be regulated and controlled in terms of their
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
For example
, my cousin thinks he is the best in the world as he was always taught to be confident and be able to do whatever he wants. I have never seen him share his things with other people, which I am
most worried
Suggestion
more worried
 about his lack of social skills. If children do not learn any rules or regulations, they can bring dismal images. In conclusion, it is undeniable that both views have equal strength in children’s learning.
However
, I fully support that comprising that there should be
right balance
Suggestion
the right balance
 between freedom and rules.
Submitted by Seonhee Moon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: