IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#universities #offer #courses #alternative #classes #campus #development
In modern society, more schools tend to teach online
instead
 of teachers having to be in class.
This
 has led to the question of whether it is advantageous or disadvantageous to offer online courses as a substitute for classes on campus. I think that, despite the convenience it brings, schools should not offer online courses too much. On the one hand, it is convenient for
students
 to learn anywhere.
For example
,
instead
 of going to school every day, they can learn at home with ease.
Furthermore
,
this
 leads to their school fees being reduced because the other fees are not wasted.
Thereby
Rephrase
Therefore
show examples
, it makes higher education more affordable for a wide range of people. And, it is beneficial for individuals who live far from university campuses to be more accessible to cutting-edge degrees.
On the other hand
, it still has some problems
such
 as if there are no teachers,
students
 will not have a direct instructor.
This
 causes many schooling problems
such
 as potentially lower the quality of education and student's ability to grasp complex concepts.
Moreover
 ,
students
also
 do not have a competitive environment, so their development is not developed in the best way.
In addition
, online courses might reduce opportunities for
students
 to engage in campus life, extracurricular activities and face-to-face networking, which are valuable aspects of the university experience. In conclusion,
although
 providing certain conveniences , it has to be done carefully since currently, it still does more harm than good.
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on logically organizing your ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph naturally leads to the next and that your argument flows smoothly from introduction to conclusion. This can be achieved by utilizing appropriate connectives and transitional phrases.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure your essay fully addresses the question asked, providing a balanced argument with clear examples and explanations. Working on providing more detailed examples and specific evidence to support your points will help to make your argument more compelling and thorough.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: