Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Taking care of
children
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is one of the most fundamental responsibilities of
parents
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in society. Some argue that all fathers and mothers should be required to take
childcare
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training courses. From my perspective, I strongly agree that
such
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training should be mandatory, as it helps
parents
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acquire essential parenting
skills
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and fosters a healthier environment for
children
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. I will elaborate on
this
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view with relevant examples below. With the increasing awareness of gender equality, parenting is no longer solely a mother's responsibility. Women now play a crucial role in financially supporting their families,
while
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fathers are becoming more involved in child-rearing. In
this
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context,
childcare
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training is essential for both
parents
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to ensure they are equally equipped with the necessary
skills
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.
This
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not only improves their ability to care for
children
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but
also
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fosters a more harmonious family environment. Parental involvement plays a crucial role in
children
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's emotional and psychological development. If
children
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feel neglected by their
parents
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, they may struggle to express their emotions and seek help when facing challenges at school.
This
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lack of emotional support could lead to negative mental health outcomes,
such
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as anxiety or depression.
Therefore
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, both
parents
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should acquire the necessary
skills
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to build mutually trusting relationships with their
children
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through structured
childcare
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training. In conclusion,
childcare
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training should be considered an essential requirement for all
parents
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. By acquiring these
skills
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,
parents
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can not only create a balanced and supportive family environment but
also
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ensure their
children
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grow up in a loving and nurturing atmosphere.

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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position, consider expanding your arguments with more specific examples or case studies demonstrating the benefits of childcare training. This will provide a stronger basis for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to vary your sentence structures, which can enhance the flow of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
Task Achievement
You have highlighted the importance of gender equality in parenting, which adds depth to your argument and is a relevant contemporary issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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