IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.

#people #school #graduates #travel #work #period #time #study #university #approaches
A normal person’s life span starts with
school
Accept comma addition
school, then
then
 they head to
university
 and afterwards they start working. Universities help students acquire new
knowledge
, and working or travelling helps the student apply the
knowledge
 obtained. There are several advantages and disadvantages of high
school
 graduates travelling or working for a period of time
instead
 of going directly to study at
university
. Travelling or working for a year or so before heading to
university
 has many advantages.
Firstly
, the student would benefit by acquiring experience that would be later needed in the
university
 years. A research study held my Yale
University
 suggests that 56 % of the most successful people have already been trained before entering
university
.
Moreover
, throughout the high
school
 years, students have been stressed with studying rather than applications of their studies;
therefore
, if they travel or work before attending
university
, they would have the chance to practice what they have studied.
Although
 several opinions urge that working or travelling before going to
university
 is the best option, there are unfortunately many disadvantages of
this
 procedure. To start with, students most certainly will forget most of the
knowledge
 they have obtained throughout their high
school
 experience.
In addition
, most students enjoy their time working and travelling, and they will forget the importance of earning a higher degree. The pros and cons of working or travelling
instead
 of acquiring a
university
 degree at
first
 are debatable.
Knowledge
, experience, and application of their work tend to be the advantages of
this
 approach;
however
, memory loss of the
knowledge
 obtained and forgetting the
cruciality
 of acquiring a higher degree are the disadvantages of not attending
university
 as soon as the student finishes high
school
.
Submitted by Rahaf Jaizani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: