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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care. But some say that walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #health #clubs #gyms #care #say #stairs
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The young people in the age group of 10-24 yr in India constitutes one of the precious resources of India characterized by growth and development and is a phase of vulnerability often influenced by several intrinsic and extrinsic factors that affect their
health
 and safety. Nearly 10-30 percent of young people suffer from
health
 affecting behaviours and conditions that need urgent attention of policy makers and public
health
 professionals. Nutritional disorders (both malnutrition and over-nutrition), tobacco use, harmful alcohol use, other substance use, high risk sexual behaviours, stress, common mental disorders, and injuries (road traffic injuries, suicides, violence of different types) specifically affect
this
 population and have long lasting impact. Multiple behaviours and conditions often coexist in the same individual adding a cumulative risk for their poor
health
. Many of these being precursors and determinants of non-communicable diseases (NCDs) including mental and neurological disorders and injuries place a heavy burden on Indian society in terms of mortality, morbidity, disability and socioeconomic losses. Many well-being policies and programmes have focused on prioritized individual
health
 problems, and integrated (both vertical and horizontal) coordinated approaches are found lacking. Healthy lifestyles and
health
 promotion policies and programmes that are central for
health
 of youth, driven by robust population-based studies are required in India which will
also
 address the growing tide of NCDs and injuries.
Submitted by ThamaraiKannan B on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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