As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#countries #people #cars #trend #individuals #environment

The advancement of technology has made individual buying

car

is much more common than ever. Owning a personal

transportation

has

bought

take something or somebody with oneself somewhere

brought

many

benefit

Suggestion

benefits

Suggestion

for

us, but meanwhile it

has causes

Suggestion

causes

is caused

has caused

caused

was caused

negative effect

Suggestion

a negative effect

on the

environment

. In my opinion, I personally think that the benefit of it has outweighed the disadvantages.

Firstly

, it is noticeable that the improvement of technology has made the cost of building a

vehicle

much

more lower

Suggestion

lower

than ever.

Therefore

, buying

Suggestion

individual

transportation

is much more

affortable

that you have the financial means for

affordable

. Most of the people would choose to own a

vehicle

is because it is less

time

consuming and much more convenient. Compare to public transport, there could be many

uncertenties

being unsettled or in doubt or dependent on chance

uncertainties

such

as delay due to

mechanical problem

Suggestion

mechanical problems

a mechanical problem

and many others

factor

Suggestion

factors

. We can travel to wherever we want at any

time

immediately by using

personal

Suggestion

a personal vehicle

personal vehicles

vehicle

Futhermore

in addition

Furthermore

, our

time

would not be restricted by any timetable of

pubilc

not private; open to or concerning the people as a whole

public

transportation

, it is much more freedom as we can plan our departure

time

we prefer by using our own transport.

On the contrary

, the more people who own their

vehicle

the more carbon dioxide will be released.

As a result

, the global warming of

earth

Suggestion

the earth

will get more serious. The

environment

that we live

Suggestion

will be destructed and all the

live

Suggestion

livers

life

of livings being on earth will be

treatened

(of flora or fauna) likely in the near future to become endangered

threatened

returned

retained

This

problem is highly concerned by related authorities of all around the world and has taken action on it. There are

car

makers who has developed

electrical

Suggestion

electric

car

and hybrid

car

, both of these inventions will reduce the release of carbon dioxide. These inventions can be beneficial for both parties at the same

time

, by owning a

vehicle

and preserve the

environment

. In conclusion, it is not wrong to buy a personal

car

as it can bring many advantages to individuals. Meanwhile, we should

also

protect the

environment

as it is crucial to us. We should avoid any unnecessary driving,

such

as share our ride with others or take public

transportation

Submitted by Wei Chen on Thu Jul 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

personal mobility
convenience
commuting
quality of life
personalized space
carbon emissions
global warming
air pollution
traffic congestion
environmental degradation
resource depletion
electric vehicles
carpooling

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As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that robots are very important for humans’ future development. Others, however, think that robots are dangerous inventions that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees’ lives easier?