Some people think that in the modern society, individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion do you think this is a positive or negative development?
These days, the type of
people
's lives have been so different from the past because currently our lives are dependent on technology and we cannot live without it, so a group of Use synonyms
people
believe that Use synonyms
people
are evolving on each other, and other groups belief are Use synonyms
in contrast
with the first one. In my opinion, Linking Words
people
who have modern lifestyles do not need other Use synonyms
people
as they can solve their matters with technology Use synonyms
instead
of they are helping other populations.
On the one hand, today, some Linking Words
people
view, the modern community inhabitants who are living in it need each other more than past for some reason. Use synonyms
Firstly
, it is important that Linking Words
people
aid themselves in improving technology. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
people
who work for Apple company are not able to innovate new devices alone , so they should work in groups to create fascinating gadgets. Use synonyms
Secondly
, a large group of Linking Words
people
are sick; Use synonyms
as a result
, they need each other to become healthier. To illustrate, a massive number of global citizens have mental issues ; Linking Words
moreover
, they cannot solve them by themselves; Linking Words
hence
, they need not only therapists but Linking Words
also
drugs.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, other Linking Words
people
think that now we do not need other Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
due to
the fact that technological advancements help us to have a good life without other Linking Words
people
's help. Use synonyms
In other words
, it can help us to find our roads when we are going to the new districts, clean our houses by utilising robot vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, and other tools, drive atoumaticly, and other things; Linking Words
therefore
, It situation opens opportunity which we might not need other ones. Linking Words
people
like clam position; Use synonyms
thus
,they are preferring to have more time with their; Linking Words
then
they have less communication with their both family and friends. Linking Words
For example
, most Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
such
as the young generations like to travel to the jungles, beaches, and other places with themselves Linking Words
instead
of having trips with a band of Linking Words
people
like family or friends.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, it is crucial that Linking Words
people
help each other to make new evidence and solve their problems; Use synonyms
nevertheless
, they do not like to have a lot of relationships with each other since, they can use digital tools Linking Words
instead
of Linking Words
people
.Use synonyms
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Currently, some transitions are abrupt.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction and conclusion to make them stronger and more engaging. This will help frame your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas by expanding on your points more thoroughly. This will help the reader better understand your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives clearly and provided a balanced view, which is crucial for a task response.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples that help illustrate your points, particularly in explaining the use of technology.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, making your argument convincing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.