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Band 6.5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or work). Others believe that children should be free to enjoy their life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #home #work #life
People have different views on whether all
children
 ought to take responsibility for helping their families or enjoy their life as much as they want. In my opinion, when
children
 help their families, they learn how to be more independent in the future. On the one hand,
children
 are more likely to spend time on their own, which may help them enjoy the time after school, like playing video games that can improve their problem-solving.
For example
, when they play strategic games based on team play, they will realize how to be a part of a team in adulthood and do their task accurately.
Also
, going out with friends can reduce their stress, which involves their lives.
For example
, most
children
 prefer to talk with their friends rather than family, so they may chat or talk to their peers about different issues they have.
On the other hand
, having extra responsibilities will have a positive effect on
also
children
's personalities and their independence. If parents persuade their
children
 to do some homework activities,
such
 as going shopping that might help
children
 learn to interact with communities, and
as a result
, their personalities may grow.
In addition
,
children
 can participate in other tasks like repairing small things,
such
 as assembling a chair or mowing the lawn, so they are able to fix them step by step.
Consequently
, they are likely to be more independent by doing small duties.
Finally
, in my opinion,
children
 may do nothing specific after school unless resting or playing video games,
while
 they should be taught how to accomplish domestic work.
In other words
, parents should give them age-appropriate tasks to learn how to tackle problems, which helps them to be independent. In conclusion, using free time might be satisfying for
children
 when they live on their own,
whereas
 being independent may give them an eternity of happiness.
Submitted by sarmastsobhan1994 on

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structure
Make sure your essay contains a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline the topics discussed, while the conclusion should summarise your viewpoint without introducing new arguments.
paragraphing
Develop your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence. Follow this with supporting sentences containing examples or reasons, and conclude the paragraph with a summarizing or linking sentence.
linking
Work on presenting your arguments more coherently. Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the other and that clear links are made between paragraphs.
detailing
You should fully extend and support your ideas with specific details or examples. Elevate your examples from hypothetical to more concrete and detailed ones.
completion
Ensure that you have addressed all parts of the task. Both views should be discussed fully and your opinion should be clear and expanded upon.
sentence structure
Work on varying your sentence structure to showcase your grammatical range and enhance the readability of your essay.
vocabulary
Use a range of vocabulary to convey precise meanings and avoid repetitions. Also, check for word choice and collocation.
proofreading
Manage your time effectively to allow for proofreading, ensuring that you correct any grammatical or lexical errors.
positioning
Provide a clear position throughout the response. Your opinion should be distinct and maintain consistency throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Responsibilities
  • Essential life skills
  • Fosters
  • Discipline
  • Shared tasks
  • Mental and emotional development
  • Overburdening
  • Childhood innocence
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Balanced approach
  • Child's capabilities
What to do next:
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