IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that animals are a necessary part of diet? What is your opinion?

#people #animals #food #part #diet
It is a widespread practice that livestock is raised and butchered for human consumption. It is condemned by many people as an animal cruelty.
On the contrary
, some people believe that animals are an important part of a balanced diet and to consume the adequate nutrients meat is necessary. I agree that killing a living being for food is a vicious act.
Firstly
, the lifestyle of mankind has changed from years to years and so does the food habits. Many people these days consume animal meat without acknowledging the fact that it is bad for their health.
For example
, it contains fats, which increase the risk of heart diseases and is frequently associated with outbreaks of food poisoning. According to a research, 70% of problems of heart patients are caused by
such
 foods which are high in unsaturated fats,
thus
, resulted in increasing their cholesterol level.
Secondly
, higher demand leads to low quality of production.
For instance
, 99 percent of factory farm animals are crammed by the thousands into filthy, windowless sheds and stuffed into wire cages, metal crates, and other torturous devices. Those industries strive to maximize output while minimizing costs. The giant corporations that run most factory farms have found that they can make more money by squeezing as many animals as possible into tiny spaces, even though many of the animals die from disease or infection.
Hence
, that leads to the cruelty towards animals.
Finally
, in conclusion, one should eat a diet
that is
 balanced without including the meats which are produced by the cruelty.
Submitted by Niharika Jain on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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