IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

#parents #computer #games #children #outweight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It's been widely accepted that many parents permit their children to play
computer
 games because they believe that
this
 will help to build their technical skills. I think that sitting in front of the
computer
 and playing games in the early
developing
Suggestion
developmental
development
 years has more disadvantages than benefits because
this
 is harmful to children's eyesight and can be equally responsible for indulging their offspring in criminal activities.
To begin
 with, watching a
computer
 screen for a more extended time will negatively impact a
child
's vision. Much research has proved that specific kinds of blue
color
a visual attribute of things that results from the light they emit or transmit or reflect
colour
coloured
 light are emitting from the graphics which usually use in creating games and,
this
 may damage the particular cells, "rods and cones" in the eye which are responsible for vision.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by the British medical council found that children are wearing eye correction lenses. They found over 25% of those who are spending plenty of time playing
computer
 games and sitting in front of the screen and continuously moving their eyeball.
Furthermore
, some web games that many children enjoy playing have violent content, responsible for making a
child
's criminal. Regularly playing
such
 games will slowly and gradually embed the negative and antisocial
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in them.
For example
, some games have a rule that when a player shoots a person, they will get points.
As a result
, the
child
 is slowly implementing
this
 rule in their lives.
Indian police
Suggestion
The Indian police
 solved a multiple murder case
last
 year, where they found out a group of children shooting people to obtain points because they were playing similar games on the
computer
. In conclusion, I believe that
computer
 games have many negative impacts on the
child
 physically and mentally despite incorporating technical skills.
Submitted by drrsali110 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: