The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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There is an inherent truth

that is

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happening that obesity is putting a heavy toll on the

health

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care system. To combat these issues, some suggest increasing more physical activities in the school curriculum. I think

that is

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a valid suggestion and should be taken into consideration.

Firstly

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, putting more physical lessons can actively prevent obesity, for students at younger ages.

Moreover

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, children are more likely to do what they are taught, and by forming an early habit of exercising compulsorily could be beneficial for them in long terms.

For example

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, students who do more physical activities at a young age are less likely to be susceptible to overweight than students who do not.

Therefore

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, it is obvious that the addition of physical activities in the curriculum could make a significant impact to combat overweight issues.

Secondly

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, educating students on the importance of physical exercise in well-being could be the decisive game-changer in the elimination of obesity across the globe. If students are conscious about their

health

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, they would aware that exercise could have a massive impact on their life afterward.

Furthermore

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, those students when grow up may generate an inherit generation that carries all the positive mindset on

health

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This

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is certainly a natural and lasting way to improve public

health

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. In conclusion, it becomes apparent that if you educate a child, you educate a family and

thus

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educating a nation.

Therefore

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, to deal with an increasing population of unfit, obese people, changing the lifestyle of the upcoming generation by introducing sports is the easiest and most effective method to use.

Submitted by Leon Käussman on Fri Jul 17 2020

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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