IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Self-employment is becoming an increasingly popular choice for many
individuals
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 as it offers greater flexibility, control over
one’s
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work
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, and the ability to pursue
one’s
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 passions.
However
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, self-employment
also
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 comes with its set of disadvantages,
such
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 as
lack
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 of job security, financial burden, and
lack
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 of networking opportunities. One of the main reasons why
people
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 may choose to be self-employed is the desire for greater flexibility. Self-employed
individuals
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 can set their schedules and
work
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 from home or other locations, which can be particularly appealing for
people
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 with families or other responsibilities. Another reason why
people
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 may choose to be self-employed is the opportunity to pursue their passions. Self-employed
individuals
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 can choose the type of
work
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 they do, which can be particularly appealing for
people
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 with a specific skill set or interest.
However
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, there are
also
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 potential disadvantages to being self-employed.
For instance
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, self-employed
individuals
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 may have less job security than those who
work
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 for a company or organization.
Additionally
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, self-employed
individuals
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 may
also
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 have to bear the costs of running their own business,
such
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 as office space, equipment, and health insurance.
Furthermore
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, self-employed
individuals
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 may
also
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 be at a disadvantage when it comes to networking and professional development opportunities. In conclusion,
individuals
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 must weigh the pros and cons before deciding to become self-employed. The desire for greater flexibility, control over
one’s
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work
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, and the opportunity to pursue
one’s
Use synonyms
 passions should be balanced against the potential drawbacks of self-employment,
such
Linking Words
 as
lack
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 of job security, financial burden, and
lack
Use synonyms
 of networking opportunities.

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task achievement
While your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic, elaborating on the advantages and disadvantages in more depth could enhance your task response. Consider including specific examples or case studies to support your points, which would strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphing. However, ensuring smooth transitions between points can improve coherence. Using linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition') to guide the reader through your arguments will make your writing more cohesive.
structural strength
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on self-employment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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