IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as unemployed and homeless people Do you agree are disagree?

#people #government #care
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It is
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 argued that the administration should look after the unemployed and homeless individuals. I agree to
this
Linking Words
 to some extent
.
Accept space
.
 On the one hand, it is the
government
Use synonyms
's responsibility to take
care
Use synonyms
 of all the people living in the country, even if they are unemployed and homeless and not contributing
in
Suggestion
to
 the country's economy. The reason for
that is
Linking Words
, if they are not having a job or a house, it means the
government
Use synonyms
 is lacking in providing them employment opportunities which contributes to the factor that they can't afford to buy or rent the accommodations. That's why the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide funds so that they can have money for their expenses and should try to provide them employment opportunities according to their qualifications and skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these people
also
Linking Words
 voted in the elections and contributed in making the
government
Use synonyms
 so, because of that, they should get assistance from the
government
Use synonyms
 in their bad times.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should
not
negation of a word or group of words
Not
 provide
care
Use synonyms
 for all the unemployed and homeless people because some of them disregarded the job options and chose to be unemployed and homeless, as
that is
Linking Words
 an easier way to live a life without doing any hard work.
Addition
Suggestion
Add
Added
 to that some people willingly leave their job and become unemployed. Due to their inability of paying rents and mortgages they become homeless. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, the
government
Use synonyms
should
Suggestion
Should
 not take
care
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
 people, as they are responsible for their own situation. In conclusion, if it is the
government
Use synonyms
's disability to provide jobs for people
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 it should take
care
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
 people,
however
Linking Words
, if
people
Suggestion
People
 chose to be unemployed and homeless,
then
Linking Words
 they don't deserve any assistance from the
government
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Divya verma on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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