IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #pocket #money #week #adults
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Many people are convinced that children who receive a weekly salary can handle wage better when they are mature. In my opinion, I agree that in
this
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 way they can understand the value of wages and will be able to manage financial issues. A good reason for giving weekly pocket check to children is that it helps to manage cash wisely.
In other words
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, when they want to get something, children think about how
this
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 will affect the total income.
As a result
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, children will realize that capital is not earned easily so it must be used properly.
Consequently
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, they will try to avoid wasting cash,
therefore
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, determine priorities.
Moreover
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, it becomes a habit and makes it easier to manage fee in the ultimate. Another point to consider is that children learn to save pay by the set at parting some of the weekly pocket earnings. They know that they collect the surplus of wealth and fulfil their biggest wishes in the near forthcoming.
Thus
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, children will understand that in adulthood desires can be fulfilled by saving payment without incredible debts.
Finally
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, one of the main qualities that will be needed in the prospective - a sense of responsibility is imbued in childhood as payroll protection, transportation, and exploitation means a greater accountability for children. Sometimes adults can face bigger problems by avoiding great responsibilities,
therefore
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, by giving children accountability on monetary matters, it is possible to avoid larger potential problems in subsequent. To sum up, giving weekly allowances will help children in matters related to the use
,
Accept space
,
accumulating and managing of funds at maturity.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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