Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to some, the most crucial thing about being wealthy is that the individual has the chance to assist other people. Having said that,
however
, I completely disagree with the given assertion on the basis of some compelling reasons and the essay will be meticulously scrutinized. Some people, on the one hand, assert that to acquire asset it is necessitated to aid people either supporting financially or emotionally. In fact, the more finance they have, the more will help people. Being generous is one of the key factor to earn
money
rather than being stingy.
Therefore
, it is important for people to donate a portion of asset to absorb more
money
. Not only have they successful lifestyle, but
also
they have well-being and will be satisfied.
On the other hand
,
however some
Accept comma addition
however, some
people ought to work on a daily routine and do not have enough time to help other people but they earn more
money
instead
of poor people. In the same vein, some people earn
money
and become rich, even they do not help other people.
Nonetheless
, endeavour, attempt and perseverance are the fundamental key to earn more
money
during the years. These are the cogent reasons which affluent people can acquire
money
. If ones work long hours, they are likely to boost income during the years. In conclusion, it is my firm conviction that I disagree with the sentence that to accomplish wealth of
money
it does not need to help others, admittedly apart from helping people it is conspicuously obvious that, it is necessitated to work long hours with full of accomplishment.
Submitted by Niusha Razavi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: