IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
Nowadays a
lot
 of large
business
such
 as supermarkets have been improved quickly and have become widespread in the world,
therefore
 a
lot
 of small
business
Suggestion
businesses
 have affected and lost the ability to rival. Large number of people believe that closing like these small
business
Suggestion
businesses
 will impact negatively and might destroy the local communities.
Firstly
, small
business
 plays an important function in keeping the economy of local communities safe. In fact, local communities are vital because a
lot
 of factories rely on to sell their products,
thus
 without these small
business
Suggestion
businesses
, large number of factories will be threaten to close
as a result
 a
lot
 workers might lose their jobs and lead to increase the idleness.
For example
, in some Mediterranean countries they completely depend on a small
business
.
In addition
, there is a study says that roughly 80% percent of people tend to buy their requirement
such
 as foods and vegetables from small supermarkets because they found them cheaper than large supermarkets,
therefore
 without these local
business
 the standard of the
life
 would be very expensive and a person cannot afford it.
Secondly
, the absence of local businesses will make the
life
 very complicated for the people who live in a countryside area.
Moreover
, in many Mediterranean countries, most people live in cities
consequently
 large supermarkets not exist in a countryside
as a result
 the people who live there will buy their need from the small supermarkets
consequently
 we can not imagine our
life
 without these small supermarkets. In conclusion, despite large supermarkets are important in our
life
 since there are comprehensive and supply us with our need,
however
 small supermarkets are
also
 important and we have supported them.
Submitted by Kaushal Patel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: