The government should lower the budget of arts in order to allocate more money to education.in what extend do u agree

5.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Education

Use synonyms

is one of the most influential parts of a

nation

Use synonyms

and

arts

Suggestion

the arts

is a valuable part of life. Arts has a great significance in a country’s culture.

However

Linking Words

Accept space

without

education

Use synonyms

nation

Use synonyms

becomes paralysed as it is the backbone of a country’s development. So, I strongly agree that government should have a higher budget for

education

Use synonyms

than

arts

Suggestion

the arts

Body paragraph 1

There is no doubt that

education

Use synonyms

is a basic foundation of a person without which he cannot achieve prosperity in life. It is a fact that, when the people are literate, the

nation

Use synonyms

becomes advanced. To stand in line with modern technology, everyone needs to educate themselves with proper insights. Having expertise in a specific field helps a person to improve in his workplace along with communicating with other countries.

Thus

Linking Words

, international collaborations progresses and economy of a country get expanded. To achieve these

Accept space

the authority must give proper attention in

Use synonyms

education sector

Suggestion

the education sector

by allocating a significant amount of fund.

For instance

Linking Words

Accept space

most of the developed countries provide hi-tech teaching systems

Accept space

as well as advanced library facilities.

Moreover

Linking Words

Accept space

practical skills are being developed by many students in their study field which helps them to get jobs after graduation.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, arts

Accept space

music

Accept space

culture is a

supporting

exhibiting or calling for sportsmanship or fair play

sporting

endeavour. Only by focusing

Suggestion

study

Suggestion

the study

and examination, a student feels stressed and fatigued. Whereas, some sort of extracurricular activities gives them relaxation which provides more energy to acquire knowledge easily. It is widely accepted that paintings represent a county’s culture and tradition. A good illustration of

this

Linking Words

Accept space

the famous artist

joynul

a daily written record of (usually personal) experiences and observations

journal

abedin

Suggestion

Abedin

abiding

has some excellent piece of art which attracted many tourists in Bangladesh. So

Accept space

arts

Suggestion

the arts

Linking Words

also contributes

Suggestion

also contribute

to a

nation

Use synonyms

’s development and the economy. But

Accept space

government should not have a higher budget in

this

Linking Words

sector rather than

education

Use synonyms

as these will cause lack in professional skilled workers as a consequence.

Conclusion

To sum up

Accept space

education

Use synonyms

and

arts both

Accept comma addition

arts, both

are essential

Accept space

however

Linking Words

Accept space

education

Use synonyms

should be the

first

Linking Words

priority while making the budget. An educated society brings an educated

nation

Use synonyms

Naeema Tahsin

Jul 18, 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Most adults are not doing exercise.Some people think that showing sports events like olympics and world cup will encourage them to exercise. Others believe that some other methods can be used for it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion
Appealing to sedentary life has become prevalent among adult societies. Although it is argued that some tournaments such as the Olympics and the World Cup could intense the population to do activity, I firmly agree with those who think other methods can be more essential for promoting workouts in public like social media and developing exercise equipment.
6
band
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Nowadays, people's health problems have been one of the major issues in many parts of the world. This essay will discuss the causes of this phenomenon and suggest solutions to tackle this problem.
7.5
band
2nd - In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In the modern era, the Internet has become an indispensable tool, particularly in the field of education. Instead of writing in books, many now use the internet as a platform to record their notes. In this phenomenon, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
8
band
Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a refection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree and disagree.
Some leisure pursuits enjoy brief periods of popularity before fading away when new trends emerge, while others endure across generations. Therefore, I can only partly agree with the assertion that our pastimes are more reflective of changing fashions than of our genuine interests.
7.5
band
The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.
The modern world of work is evolving at an unprecedented pace, making job stability and consistent working conditions increasingly rare. Several key factors are driving these changes, including technological advancements, global crises, and economic uncertainty. In order to adapt, individuals and societies must take proactive steps to prepare for a more dynamic and unpredictable employment landscape.

The government should lower the budget of arts in order to allocate more money to education.in what extend do u agree

Most adults are not doing exercise.Some people think that showing sports events like olympics and world cup will encourage them to exercise. Others believe that some other methods can be used for it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

2nd - In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a refection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.