In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and theri levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Nowadays,
people
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's
health
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problems have been one of the major issues in many parts of the world.
This
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essay will discuss the causes of
this
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phenomenon and suggest solutions to tackle
this
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problem. On the one hand, there are some significant reasons for
this
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issue. As society has been rapidly advancing,
people
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's lifestyles are changing as well. In general, the sedentary work style is becoming common for most citizens and convenient
foods
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, junk
foods
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, and microwave meals are becoming ubiquitous parts of modern life.
For instance
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, a great number of workers tend to eat fast
foods
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rather than healthy
foods
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because these
foods
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not only have reasonable prices or convenience
,
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apply
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but
also
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have good taste qualities. Despite
people
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already knowing the way to live healthy lifestyles, they do not have many options
due to
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a lack of time.
Nevertheless
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, there are some practical suggestions to mitigate
this
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phenomenon.
To begin
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with, citizens have a crucial responsibility for their own
health
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.
In other words
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, individuals should consider their diet and bad habits because it is connected to their
health
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directly. For illustrate, If
people
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would make several efforts
such
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as
doing exercise
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exercising
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regularly, replacing organic
foods
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, and checking their own physical levels frequently, these small changes might improve
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people's
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their
show examples
health
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levels.
Additionally
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, the government have a duty to ensure public
health
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care.
For
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this
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reason, the government would implement a variety of campaigns to encourage citizens's healthcare services.
For example
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, providing fitness services fare can help
people
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to make some good habits in their lives. In conclusion, it is a serious concern in modern society.
Hence
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, both individuals and the government should play their part in making efforts in order to address
this
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serious problem.Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
problems have been one of the major issues in many parts of the world.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the causes of
this
Linking Words
phenomenon and suggest solutions to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

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task achievement
The points in the essay are clear and relevant, but could benefit from deeper development and additional examples. Try to elaborate more on each supporting point by providing more specific details or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by making smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. The use of connecting phrases can help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
language
Review and correct minor grammatical errors to improve clarity and readability. For example, 'For illustrate' should be 'For instance' or 'To illustrate.'
language
Try to vary the sentence structures and use a broader range of vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and solutions of the problem, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the task.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the preference for fast food due to convenience and taste, strengthens the arguments presented.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • calorie-dense
  • processed food
  • junk food
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • physical inactivity
  • lack of exercise
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • fast food consumption
  • advertising
  • stress
  • busy lifestyle
  • nutrition education
  • access to exercise facilities
  • cultural factors
  • government intervention
  • healthy lifestyle promotion
  • education on healthy eating
  • exercise facilities
  • taxes on unhealthy food
  • public exercise facilities
  • regulating advertising
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