some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. do you agree or disagree?

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Schools perform an essential role on the pupils’ health.

However

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, a portion of societies realizes that school’s schedule have not been enough to assure about children’s health. Definitely, more focusing on

this

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crucial field is needed to achieve a healthier community in the future. So, in

this

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essay, there is a discussion about how much schools are close to achieving the energy related aims.

Firstly

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, it is necessary to consider the duties of a school towards adolescents’ fitness. Schools should constantly check the main children’s health factors,

such

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as the blood pressure, temperature, weight, at least once in a week to ensure parents about the general condition of their children.

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, students’ mental energy should be controlled, as well. As technology has developed, the overusing of it has tremendous effects on spirits and manners.

As a result

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, some treatments, like talking to a counsellor, can really enhance the situation.

Therefore

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, a proper interaction between pupils and schools would be the only key to a healthy society.

Moreover

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, it can cost a fortune for schools to provide all above items for juveniles.

Although

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, they try to put all their endeavour to gain the most aims, we are still too far to achieve a complete healthy society.

Therefore

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, parents can, be concerned about the quality and efficiency of the well-being programs, which are held in schools. Indeed, we need a great attempt in schools to make the situation better. To conclude, some humans find the tasks, which are done in schools, insufficient. Without any doubt, it is still not as much as it should be. So, there is an expectation to make a progress to face a healthier society in future.

Amin AminSat Jul 18 2020

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Health education
Curriculum
Healthy lifestyle
Diet
Exercise
Mental health
Hygiene
Practical skills
Responsibility
Collaboration
Long-term benefits
Reduced healthcare costs
Academic performance
Well-being
Comprehensive health programs
Positive outcomes

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some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.