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Some are convinced that all schools should be public and free if charge because all kids should have the same opportunities. There is an opinion that private schools better education.discuss both views and give your opinion.

#schools #charge #kids #opportunities #education
There is an intensive debate about what is the best free or
charge
Wrong verb form
charged
show examples
 scholarship.
while
 some
people
 argue that kindergartens must be free to enable everyone to be educated, others believe that private
education
 supports
students
 better than the first one . For
this
 , in
this
 essay, l will examine all views and give my opinion in the end .
Firstly
, a
lot
 of experts are convinced that
education
 ought to be free because
education
 is compulsory for all kids by virtue of the UN charter
as well as
 a
lot
 of
students
' families are poor.
Moreover
, the UN organizations imposed a
lot
 of agreements and regulations and forced all countries to teach their
students
. For
this
 , it is unreasonable to make charges mandatory.
For instance
, pupils in developing countries are poor and do not have money to pay for the study .
Besides
 , a
lot
 of kids around the world are not able to fund themselves for studying.
Secondly
, other scholars discuss that
people
 should be paying to receive the learning process.
Furthermore
, private schools provide a perfect environment for both
students
 and teachers to be creative.
In addition
, there are more educational institutions that are free , and those who do have not money can exploit them.
On the other hand
,
thesethis
Correct your spelling
these
 private institutions pay huge wages to tutors and assistants in their lives.
Also
 ,
people
 are free to join private or public
education
 and no one can force others to study in a particular organisation.
To sum up
, some
people
 believe that
education
 must be public to enable all individuals to join in ,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 support private schools because they provide an excellent environment for studying. I agree with the first opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because all kids in the world should be educated without any fees
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the prompt. Besides presenting the discussed views, your personal opinion needs to be more elaborated. Providing specific examples to support your views would also strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Use a range of linking words and make sure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
language proficiency
Practice using a wider range of vocabulary and check for grammatical accuracy. This not only helps to clearly express your ideas but also enriches the quality of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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