Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that reading

books

is more beneficial for

children

compared to watching

or playing computer

games

. In my opinion, I consider myself an advocate of

this

notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, reading

books

helps kids develop their minds more than watching

or playing video

games

. Reading stories requires youngsters to use their imaginations to create a vision and imagine all the events detailed in the book.

While

reading, kids will create visuals, thoughts, and views in their minds, so it increases their imagination and creativity. Meanwhile,

this

is unlikely to be the case when viewing television, which already delivers a complete image and brilliant

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

Hence

, reading

books

allows youngsters to develop more creative responses than watching television.

Furthermore

, reading stories from a book helps adolescents improve their language skills more than watching

or playing computer

games

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

. When

children

read, they will be exposed to a variety of vocabulary and sentence styles.

As a result

, reading

books

may give a great chance for youngsters to expand their vocabulary, which leads to improved writing abilities. Meanwhile,

instead

texts

Fix the agreement mistake

text

show examples

shows and computer

games

rely heavily on sounds and pictures.

Therefore

, reading

books

is better than watching television and video

games

in terms of developing

children

's vocabulary. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

I am sure that the benefits of reading

books

for

children

much outweigh those of watching

or playing

games

because

this

activity stimulates both their creativity and linguistic skills.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Mon Feb 21 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Maintain focus on developing a few key points deeply instead of covering many in less detail to enhance clarity and depth of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

To further improve coherence, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Revisit your essay to ensure variety in sentence structure - incorporating complex sentences where appropriate can enhance readability and coherence.

logical structure

Effectively used an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, creating a coherent structure.

supported main points

Successfully developed main points with support, making your argument stronger.

clear comprehensive ideas

Provided clear, comprehensive ideas in response to the task, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

relevant specific examples

Used relevant examples to support your views, enriching your essay's content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of oil drilling operations in remote locations around the world. This has brought economic benefits to some countries, though it has also raised concerns about the environmental impact of these operations. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
In isolated part of world, more number of oil drilling operations are carried out and many believe that it will have significant benefit to economy of a nation while other argues that it posses serious environment implications. Moreover, I believe it will have negative impact on environment. However, in this essay we will discuss both sides with suitable examples.
6.5
band
History is not useful in our life. Do you agree or disagree?
Every action in the universe is based on the previously experienced theory which is called the world's background. There are assumptions that indicate this history has nothing to do with the current life of people. This essay is going to discuss how unimportant is what we had in the past in actual life.
4.5
band
Q. Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Certain people believe that extreme noise should be a criminal act, because it leads to effect mental health. Meanwhile other say they should be free to make noise with no limit. because sometimes making noise is compulsory on strike and on public events.
7.5
band
Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is often said that people usually spend their spare time with their coworkers, whereas others enjoy their privacy after work. Both sides have different advantages and drawbacks. From my perspective, I partially agree with this notion and will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
7
band
More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?
It is becoming increasingly common for people from suburbs who work in agricultural areas to migrate to cities to find new sources of living. This essay will elaborate on the potential drawbacks attained from this trend and the solutions to tackle this problem.

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

History is not useful in our life. Do you agree or disagree?

Q. Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?