Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children

There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that reading

books

is more beneficial for

children

compared to watching

or playing computer

games

. In my opinion, I consider myself an advocate of

this

notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, reading

books

helps kids develop their minds more than watching

or playing video

games

. Reading stories requires youngsters to use their imaginations to create a vision and imagine all the events detailed in the book.

While

reading, kids will create visuals, thoughts, and views in their minds, so it increases their imagination and creativity. Meanwhile,

this

is unlikely to be the case when viewing television, which already delivers a complete image and brilliant

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

Hence

, reading

books

allows youngsters to develop more creative responses than watching television.

Furthermore

, reading stories from a book helps adolescents improve their language skills more than watching

or playing computer

games

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

. When

children

read, they will be exposed to a variety of vocabulary and sentence styles.

As a result

, reading

books

may give a great chance for youngsters to expand their vocabulary, which leads to improved writing abilities. Meanwhile,

instead

texts

Fix the agreement mistake

text

show examples

shows and computer

games

rely heavily on sounds and pictures.

Therefore

, reading

books

is better than watching television and video

games

in terms of developing

children

's vocabulary. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

I am sure that the benefits of reading

books

for

children

much outweigh those of watching

or playing

games

because

this

activity stimulates both their creativity and linguistic skills.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Mon Feb 21 2022

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task achievement

Maintain focus on developing a few key points deeply instead of covering many in less detail to enhance clarity and depth of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

To further improve coherence, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to smoothly connect ideas and paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Revisit your essay to ensure variety in sentence structure - incorporating complex sentences where appropriate can enhance readability and coherence.

logical structure

Effectively used an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, creating a coherent structure.

supported main points

Successfully developed main points with support, making your argument stronger.

clear comprehensive ideas

Provided clear, comprehensive ideas in response to the task, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

relevant specific examples

Used relevant examples to support your views, enriching your essay's content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Cigarette companies in Indonesia sponsor sports and music events, but many people believe this should be banned because it encourages young people to smoke. Do you agree with banning this type of sponsorship?

task 2 Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

some people say that the only reason for learninng a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. discuss both views and give your own opinion.