Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence

People have different opinions about whether prosperity of a human depends on external factors or confined to the individual himself. While everyone is accountable for their cheerfulness, I believe that external conditions have a huge impact on people's joyfulness. Peace of mind in people's

life

depends on how they prioritize the things around them. When people spend their time in their comfort zone, they would automatically be satisfied with their lives. Every

person

has ups and downs in their lifetime, but one who knows how to tackle the problems is happier than those who gets puzzled in hard times.

For instance

, most of the sportsmen have to face hardships in their career and a few of them become successful because they handle the situation in a better way. Therefor, it is obvious that every character is in charge of pleasure in their lives.

However

, I opine that there are other external factors as well which contributes to enjoyment in a

person

life

Firstly

, everyone wants to live a stress free

life

and for that there should be a permanent source of income.

That is

why job security is of prime importance for a

person

. So, that he can cover all the expenses without facing any hurdles.

Secondly

, In the time of sorrow and happiness, everyone thinks that there should be someone so that they could share their feelings.

Therefore

, kith and kin become an indispensable part of a

person

's joy. These are some other factors which are accountable for the satisfaction of a human. In conclusion, I reiterate that relatives and job security are other crucial factors in a

person

's happy

life though

Accept comma addition

life, though

how a

person

manages all the things to live a happy

life

depends on the individual.

Submitted by Vikas Dhanda on Sun Jul 19 2020

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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing excercise classes. what are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negetive development?