IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that private health care is better for the people. Other say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. How far do you agree or disagree with the statements given?

#people #health #care #charge #government #statements
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Although
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, it is thought by some people that
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 should be run by the private sector, others,
however
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, believe that government ought to take control and
also
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 make it free for all people.In my view a government run
health
Use synonyms
 system will help both individual and society. Free
care
Use synonyms
 act is going to make everyone covered
regerdless
in spite of everything; without regard to drawbacks
regardless
 of
thier
of them or themselves
their
 background and their financial state
,
Accept space
,
for example
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 the majority of poor and middle class workers in
sudan
a region of northern Africa to the south of the Sahara and Libyan deserts; extends from the Atlantic to the Red Sea
Sudan
 are uninsured or underinsured because it is rare that the
emplyers
a worker who is hired to perform a job
employees
 there will agree to pay for a private insurance for their employee in
sudan
a region of northern Africa to the south of the Sahara and Libyan deserts; extends from the Atlantic to the Red Sea
Sudan
. Another point to consider,if the official authorities take charge of the
health
Use synonyms
 system
this
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 way the greed and selflessness of the private insurane corporations will come to an end because i is a major issue around the world that due to personal greed a lot of people might lose their lives or at least get bankrubt because the are unable to pay the high and cruel private insurance fees.
Finally
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,covering everyone
health
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 fees is going to automatically push the society forward,
in other words
Linking Words
 assisting most individuals to get healthy which means increasing the workforce and help people to focus in work
instead
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 of focusing in their
health
Use synonyms
care
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 issues, In additon taking out the burden of hospitals charges will decrease the crimes rate as some people try to get money illegally to cover their hospitals costs. In conclusion, in order to improve the society and make all the population focus
in
Suggestion
on
 building
better future
Suggestion
a better future
 we have to make
healt
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
care
Use synonyms
 free and run by the government.
Submitted by Obada ALi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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