IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle
Nowadays, it is widely believed that the role of pharmacy and doctor is more important than a balanced lifestyle for the achievement of a healthy life.
This
 essay will agree with
this
 notion as more inhabitants are more likely to believe in medical expertise and drugs and do not have enough time to follow a healthy lifestyle. It is argued that people are extremely busy with their daily activities so that tend to be
lazy to
Accept comma addition
lazy, to
 practice life healthily People work long hours, often sit in one place without much movement. Some of them are so on the job that they skip meals or breakfast. A majority of do not do any physical exercise because they can't find the time or are extremely tired. Apart from previous discussion, populace tends to believe that doctors and pharmaceutical can handle their energy problems.
However
, visiting doctors and buying tablets cost a huge amount of money and it is better to spend on preparing healthy food and participating in gyms to live a strength lifestyle. Depending on medication to solve health issues is a double edged sword because it can solve some problems, but
on the other hand
 has a bad side effect on our bodies.
Therefore
, many pieces of research are shown that taking over antibiotic has negative impacts to life. To sum up, as more citizens seem to have a restricted time and a strong belief in medical experts, they apparently rely on doctors and chemical medicines rather than do a regular exercise for maintaining their health.
Submitted by Geenger Richardson on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: