IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

history tells that people have often thought about creating an ideal society , but most of the times fail in making this happen.what is your opinion about an ideal society? Can we creat an ideal society?

#history #people #society #times #happen #creat
More than often, people have not succeeded in forging a utopian civilization,
although
 history evinces that folks have ideally always strived for creating one. I unequivocally opine that an ideal
society
 should comprise of a populace which deems that every individual is created equal and that they are bestowed with several unalienable rights. In spite of repeated failures, one should invariably hope for an institution of a
society
 based on
such
 an ideology.
First
 and foremost, the predominant feature of an ideal
society
 is inevitably the freedom accorded to its people. All citizens, regardless of their colours, creed, and cultures should be treated as one; as well as be accorded their share of the rights.
Furthermore
, nobody whatsoever shall refuse to abide by the unanimous laws instituted by the
society
 itself which is the most wholesome for the public good. Regulations set for the common merits of citizens shall be obeyed by all so as to ensure domestic tranquility and lasting harmony.
Additionally
, the
society
 must provide for the health and education of its civilians.
Also
, a
society
 must be bereft of injustice, all kinds of usurpations and every sort of immoral conduct. In order to form
such
 a glorious foundation,
firstly
, every citizen must conscientiously devote their lives towards guarding the national foundation.
Secondly
, governments can be instituted among masses, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. It should be conceived axiomatic that any individual who is a threat to the well-established community shall be declared guilty subject to the act he has committed. To recapitulate, as a free and independent
society
society
, it must have all powers to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which an ideal state may of right do.
Submitted by jack on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: