IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Agree or Diagree? "Parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully."

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Nowadays, it is a big problem deciding if the children should be planning their
leisure
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time
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 on their own. Some say, parents should
plan
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 their children's free
time
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 while others say children should choose what to do in their
leisure
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time
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. I am absolutely against the
first
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 statement due to a few reasons.
First
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, children should know how to
plan
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 their own
time
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 naturally. As the kids become older and older, they are required to organize their
time
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 well. If they don't organize their
time
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, they might get late for school, or they might not be able to finish their tasks on
time
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. If parents
plan
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 every single thing the children should do in their lecture
time
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, the children would not be able to
plan
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 their
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time which
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time, which
 can cause to them not being able to organize their
time
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 in the future.
Secondly
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, it is taking away the joy of the children. Every
child
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 in the world has something they want to do and
leisure
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time
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 is their only
time
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 where they can do something they want to do.
However
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, If parents
plan
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 their
child
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's
leisure
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time
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, the
child
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 would lose the liberty in their only free
time
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. Let's say a boy had 2 hours of
leisure
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time
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 a day. He has studied all they long and is really tired.
Leisure
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time
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 comes. He wants to watch a movie
that is
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 1 hour and 40 minutes long.
However
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, his parents let him watch YouTube for only 1 hour out of 2 hours and 1 hour of exercising. So, he would not have enough to watch a single movie. Like
this
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 by planning the
leisure
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time
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 strictly would make a
child
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 think they have no control over anything in their lives even in their free
time
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. In conclusion, I think parents should never
plan
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 the children's
leisure
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time
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 and do what they want to do. If the parents
plan
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 the
child
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's
leisure
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time
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 I would not call it a
leisure
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time
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 but I would call it a relaxing
time
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 since they don't have liberty.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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