Many believe that success in life mainly depends on hard work and determination while others believe that factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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It is believed that prosperity during lifetime is predominantly based on intensive work and persistence, whereas

opposers

one who estimates officially the worth or value or quality of things

appraisers

feel that external circumstances like finances and physical beauty are crucial. I side with the

first

Linking Words

view, in as

Suggestion

view, as

much as it gives motivation to take action. The primary reason why some people consider that welfare and superiority in appearance are

main factors

Suggestion

the main factors

that lead to

success

Use synonyms

stems from opportunities provided by them.

This

Linking Words

is because money enables people to have confidence in achieving their goals.

For example

Linking Words

, people with big bank accounts can afford

studing

Suggestion

to study

studying

in famous universities around the world.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can easily start a business and succeed in the future.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I support those those who believe that working hard and decisiveness play the biggest role in achieving

success

Use synonyms

. The reason for

this

Linking Words

is that these values provide people with motivation and enthusiasm. As a consequence, they will make an effort to improve not only financial position, but all areas and these actions will definitely lead them to be happy.

For instance

Linking Words

, young student, who was nurtured in poor conditions, will work a lot in order to study in

tertiary institution

Suggestion

tertiary institutions

a tertiary institution

, get a good job with high revenue and be

successful family man

Suggestion

a successful family man

in his later life. In conclusion, even though some might argue that

success

Use synonyms

can be gained by finances and charm, others, including myself, are sure that values

such

Linking Words

as diligence and purposefulness will

rote

an established line of travel or access

route

to that. I would recommend people to work intensively and be ambitious since they would be motivated to achieve

success

Use synonyms

Submitted by Абдулла Губайдуллин on Tue Jul 21 2020

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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