Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

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Thanks to the innovation of technology breakthroughs, citizens are now easier to purchase products from online platforms regardless geographic distance. The proliferation of online shopping has both detrimental and beneficial effects on the global environment and general occupations, which will be discussed here. On the one hand, the omnipresence of online shopping has definite advantages in saving time and fortune for buyers. Buying commodities online could reduce a long- lasting time spending on choosing products and paying which could frequently see in the supermarket where people are queuing in a long line.

Moreover

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, there are more promotions for online shopping in order to boost the purchasing rate, so that shopping on apps or websites could be a wisdom choice.

In addition

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. Shopping would

also

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foster the development of logistic industry and delivery systems. To meet a growing demand, there will be an enormous market for start-up entrepreneurs and employees to work in

this

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lucrative market, hopefully contributing to the progress of the national economy.

On the other hand

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, it is undeniable fact that

this

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ubiquitous trend has brought certain drawbacks to the trading sectors and society as a whole. The benefits of online platforms could lead to the collapse of retails and traditional businesses. Since the creation of shopping online, the old model of buying and selling have been devastating

affect

a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon

effect

. It is understandable that customers would not choose to go out to buy goods, if they could do it indoors.

As a result

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, the conventional trade would have to face with the problems of bankruptcy.

Secondly

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, if

this

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trend continuously happens on a permanent basis, the volume of citizens who live by the traditional businesses will be made redundant.

Finally

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, the society and governments might bear the burden of the high rate of unemployment, which has a detrimental effect on the domestic economy. In conclusion, the convenience of buying online would definitely attract a huge amount of clients,

however

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this

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trend have both negative and positive side-effects,

Submitted by Truong Thuong on Tue Jul 21 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Sme people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this?