IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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There has been a rise in the
production
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 of commodities that contribute to environmental degradation.
This
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 essay will first examine the underlying reasons behind
this
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 before proposing some viable solutions to alleviate it. The implications of consumer goods
production
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 on the
environment
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 are on the increase can be attributed to two main reasons. Chief among these is that manufacturing involves a huge collaboration of machinery and technology, allowing businesses to maximise their productivity. These equipments often require substantial amounts of energy, which is primarily derived from burning fossil fuel, contributing to global warming and air pollution
consequently
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.
Additionally
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, improper
waste
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 treatment can be detrimental to the natural
environment
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, especially aquatic species. Once
waste
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 is dumped into rivers, it introduces dangerous chemicals and toxins into rivers, leading to water pollution.
This
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 will disrupt the food chain
as a consequence
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 of aquatic species being harmed. To effectively address the mounting issues of excessive
production
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 impacts on the natural
environment
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, efforts are required at the governmental level. To cope with excessive energy consumption, the government could allocate subsidies for firms to invest in vital energy-saving and green technologies. Since eco-friendly technologies incur an intensive amount of money, government subsidies will reduce the costs of
production
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 to a certain extent and stimulate the use of green products. Another considerable method is to implement strict regulations on the disposal process.
This
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 will come with regular inspections and monitoring to ensure compliance.
Therefore
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, those who violate the rules will be imposed fines or penalties, which serve as a deterrent to illegal
waste
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 dumping that engenders deterioration of environmental quality, possibly lowering impacts on the
eco-system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
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 and
environment
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. In conclusion, the increasing
production
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 of consumer goods is driven by extreme energy consumption and improper
waste
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 treatment.
However
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,
this
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 problem is still positively soluble through government intervention
such
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 as subsidies to promote eco-friendly manufacture and strict regulations to minimise
waste
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 disposal
into
Change preposition
in
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 nature.

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task achievement
To further improve your essay, consider using varied sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary. This will help to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate your linguistic range.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. It could be beneficial to use more linking devices or transition phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing the causes and solutions effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples to support the points made, making the argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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